Some GREAT Quotes From Bumper Stickers
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Myths Alerts Legislation In God We Trust? Humanist Celebrants

End Welfare As We Know It -- Tax Churches


More GREAT quotes and bumper sticker logic


"Surely what post-9/11 America has shown is that those who viewed this country as socially decadent, morally confused, culturally bankrupt, and in need of a drastic spiritual revival were baldy, incontrovertibly wrong."
--Andrew Sullivan, "What conservatives should learn from 9/11," The New Republic, December 17, 2001

"All the while that Afghanistan's ruling Taliban has been protecting Osama bin Laden, Italy has been harboring another omnipotent religious zealot, one who equally condemns us Western sinners and incites violence with his incendiary rhetoric.  Yes, right there on the European mainland!  Meet John Paul II, Christian fundamentalist extraordinaire and a man who inspires thugs across the globe who commit hate crimes against homosexuals."
--Michelangelo Signorile, New York Press, November 21, 2001

Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.

"Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law." --Thomas Jefferson, Feb 10, 1814

"The appropriation of funds of the United States for the use and support of religious societies, [is] contrary to the article of the Constitution which declares that 'Congress shall make no law respecting a religious establishment.'" -- James Madison, February 27, 1811

"In Christianity, neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point." --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain--then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?" --Robert A. Heinlein

Doing my part to piss off the religious right.

"Not only were a good many of the revolutionary leaders more deist than Christian, the actual number of church members was rather small. Perhaps as few as five percent of the populace were church members in 1776" --Lynn R. Buzzard, Exec Dir of Christian Legal Society, as quoted in "They Haven't Got a Prayer," Elgin IL: David C. Cook, 1982, p. 81

It's not God I have a problem with, it's his fan club I can't stand.

Dear Lord, Protect me from your followers

Protect YOUR family from the Christian Coalition

"If the belief in god were natural, there would be no need to teach it. Children would possess it as well as adults, the layman as the priest, the heathean as much as the missionary. We don't have to teach the general elements of human nature; -- the five senses, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. They are universal; so would religion be were it natural, but it is not. On the contrary, it is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are Atheists, and were religion not inculcated into their minds they would remain so. Even as it is, they are great sceptics, until made sensible of the potent weapon by which religion has ever been propagated, namely, fear - - fear of the lash of public opinion here, and of jealous, vindictive God hereafter. No; there is no religion in human nature, nor human nature in religion. It is purely artificial, the result of education, while Atheism is natural, and, were the human mind not perverted and bewildered by the mysteries and follies of superstition, would be universal." --Ernestine L. Rose, "A Defence of Atheism" (1878, Women Without Superstition ed. Annie Laurie Gaylor, Madison, WI: FFRF, 1997), p. 82.

"If Jesus where here today, there is one thing he wouldn't be - A Christian" -- Mark Twain

"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God." --Thomas Edison

It is true that liberty is precious, but is it so precious it must be rationed?

Freedom of religion means ALL religions

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." --Richard Dawkins

Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now Greatly Increases the Chances of World Peace.

A mind is like a parachute - It only works when its open

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." The Wise Man Says it to the World.

If you want to live in a country run by religion, MOVE TO IRAN!

If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?

There once was a time when everyone feared God and the Church reigned supreme... it was called the Dark Ages.

"If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder." --H.L. Mencken

"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing, all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." --Gene Roddenberry

"Is god willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god?" --Epicurus (341-270 BCE)

Agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial

"Organized Christianity has probably done more to retard the ideals that were its founder's than any other agency in the world." --Richard Le Gallienne

Organized religion is like organized crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate.

"Organized religion: The world's largest pyramid scheme." --Bernard Katz

Blasphemy is a blast for me

Garbage In -- Gospel Out

He is YOUR God, they are YOUR rules...YOU burn in hell!

"If the lord had meant us to have faith, he'd have given us lobotomies." --Zlatko

They found Noah's ark, but there was a sign on it: "Made in Hong Kong "

There are none more ignorant and useless, than they that seek answers on their knees, with their eyes closed.

Since logic, reason, and historical precision play no part in Christianity, unfortunately, these disciplines are useless in discussions with Christians.

"In the long run nothing can withstand reason and experience, and the contradiction religion offers to both is only too palpable." --Sigmund Freud

"We dance around in a ring and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows." --Robert Frost

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." --Galileo Galilei

If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

The Bill of Rights went too far. They should have stopped with "Congress shall make no law."

No Censorship - No Exceptions

U.S. Constitution, Amendment One... VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading

Annoy a politician today - THINK

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made Members of Congress." --Mark Twain

What Would Jesus Do? Nothing, he's dead.

"It is not to be understood that I am with him (Jesus Christ) in all his doctrines. I am a Materialist; he takes the side of Spiritualism; he preaches the efficacy of repentance toward forgiveness of sin; I require a counterpoise of good works to redeem it. Among the sayings and discourses imputed to him by his biographers, I find many passages of fine imagination, correct morality, and of the most lovely benevolence; and others, again, of so much ignorance, so much absurdity, so much untruth, charlatanism and imposture, as to pronounce it impossible that such contradictions should have proceeded from the same being. I separate, therefore, the gold from the dross; restore him to the former, and leave the latter to the stupidity of some, the roguery of others of his disciples. Of this band of dupes and imposters, Paul was the great Coryphaeus, and the first corruptor of the doctrines of Jesus." --Thomas Jefferson to W. Short, 1820

Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

"Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." --Mark Twain

"A scientist is a man who changes his beliefs according to reality, a theist is a man who changes reality to match his beliefs." --Volker Braun (1998)

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." --Philip K. Dick

"I believe the spreading of Catholicism to be the most horrible means of political and social degradation left in the world." --Charles Dickens

"Fear believes -- courage doubts. Fear falls upon the earth and prays -- courage stands erect and thinks. Fear is barbarism -- courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, in devils and in ghosts. Fear is religion, courage is science." --Robert G. Ingersoll

"Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith." --Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Gods," 1872

"Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything." --Robert A. Heinlein

"Reason shapes the future, but superstition infects the present." --Iain M Banks

"To assert that Christianity communicated to man moral truths previously unknown, argues on the part of the asserter either gross ignorance or else willful fraud.... The system of morals expounded in the New Testament contains no maxims which had not been previously enunciated." --Henry Thomas Buckle

"The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." --Ferdinand Magellan

"Religion is all bunk." --Thomas Edison


AND NOW, A BRIEF MUSICAL INTERLUDE...

"Who Made Who?" --AC/DC

"I don't mean to be godless, but I am." --UPO

"I will choose FREE WILL." --Rush

"I'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exist." -- Marilyn Manson


"Christianity is the enemy of liberty & civilization." --August Bebel

"I don't believe in God, because I don't believe in Mother Goose." --Clarence Darrow

"It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain." --Mark Twain

"The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation." --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we call it the word of a demon than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind." --Thomas Paine

"God and Country are an unbeatable team; they break all records for oppression and bloodshed." --Luis Buquel

"I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved - the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced!" --John Adams

"Finding that no religion is based on facts and cannot therefore be true, I began to reflect what must be the condition of mankind trained from infancy to believe in error." --Robert Owen

"Why has a religious turn of mind always a tendency to narrow and harden the heart?" --Robert Burns

"It's an incredible con job when you think of it, to believe something now in exchange for life after death. Even corporations with all their reward systems don't try to make it posthumous." --Gloria Steinem

"The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one." --David Hume

"Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise." --James Madison

"I believe that when I die I shall rot, and nothing of my ego will survive. I am not young, and I love life. But I should scorn to shiver with terror at the thought of annihilation. Happiness is none the less true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love lose their value because they are not everlasting." --Bertrand Russell

"It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses." --Flo Kennedy

"I do not believe in the immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it." --Albert Einstein

"Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system." --Thomas Paine

"One of my favorite fantasies is that next Sunday not one single woman, in any country of the world, will go to church. If women simply stop giving our time and energy to the institutions that oppress, they could cease to be." --Sonia Johnson

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." --Susan B. Anthony

"During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution." --James Madison

"When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obliged to call for help of the civil power, 'tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one." --Benjamin Franklin

"Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private schools, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separated." --Ulysses S. Grant

"Persecution is not an original feature in any religion; but it is always the strongly marked feature of all religions established by law." --Thomas Paine

"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." --Thomas Jefferson

"I can hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true; for if so the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not believe, and this would include my Father, Brother, and almost all my best friends, will be everlastingly punished. And this is a damnable doctrine." --Charles Darwin

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism." --Albert Einstein

"One does well to put on gloves when reading the New Testament. The proximity of so much uncleanliness almost forces one to do this." --Friedrich Nietzsche

"If the bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it." --William Jennings Bryan

"Reason should be destroyed in all Christians." --Martin Luther

"The memory of my own suffering has prevented me from ever shadowing one young soul with the superstitions of the Christian religion." --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world." --Bertrand Russell

"It is a farce to call any being virtuous whose virtues do not result from the exercise of its own reason." --Mary Wollstonecraft

"Ministers say that they teach charity. That is natural. They live on hand-outs. All beggars teach that others should give." --Robert Ingersoll

"The time appears to me to have come when it is the duty of all to make their dissent from religion known." --John Stuart Mill

"The man who is always worrying about whether or not his soul would be damned generally has a soul that isn't worth a damn." --Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Censorship? We don't have any censorship. If we did, I couldn't say _________ or _________.

"I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are venomous enough, or secret, subterranean and small enough - I call it the one immortal blemish upon the human race." --Friedrich Nietzsche

"The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." --Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri (973-1057; Syrian poet)

"He that cannot reason is a fool; He that will not is a bigot; He that dare not is a slave." -- Sir William Drummond c.1770-1828

If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them.

If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'?

I don't mind straight people, as long as they act gay in public.

"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches." --Benjamin Franklin

"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." --Thomas Paine

"The United States of America should have a foundation free from the influence of clergy." --George Washington

Q: Jesus was renowned for his ability to heal. What was the one affliction that proved too malignant for his cure?
A: Christianity

Last time we mixed politics with religion, people got burned at the stake.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Any belief worth having must survive doubt.

Nothing fails like prayer.

"What we call God's justice is only man's idea of what he would do if he were God." --Elbert Hubbard

"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means." --George Bernard Shaw

I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.

"Man is certainly stark mad: He cannot make a flea, yet he makes gods by the dozens." --Montaigne

Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.

"Faith is the effort to believe what your common sense tells you is not true." --Elbert Hubbard

Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe something your intellect would otherwise cause you to reject -- otherwise there's no need for faith.

"Faith - the ability to believe the ridiculous for the sublime." --Rich Bennett

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich

"Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." --Ambrose Bierce

"Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate." --F.M. Knowles

"Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits." --Dan Barker, preacher turned atheist

"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass; he is actually ill." --H.L. Mencken

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true." --Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." --Ambrose Bierce

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." --Stephen Roberts

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Explaining the unknown by means of the unobservable is always a perilous business.

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy." --David Brooks, "The Necessity of Atheism"

"A man is accepted into church for what he believes--and turned out for what he knows." --Mark Twain

Most people hate the idea of evolution because they realize that if it were working properly, they'd be dead.

Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.

"If we are going to teach 'creation science' as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction." --Judith Hayes

"If Christians want us to believe in a Redeemer, let them act redeemed." --Voltaire

"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around." --Herb Caen

Why be born again, when you can just grow up?

I don't mind those who are born again, just as long as they don't think that they get twice as many rights.

"The trouble with communism is the communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is Christians." --H. L. Mencken

"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense." --Chapman Cohen

"We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake." --Catherine Fahringer

"If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing" --Anatole France

"God - who is said to have created everything from nothing and to have done so with no help from anyone is now completely helpless to do anything at all without the assistance of an army of clergymen and the charity of a flock of faithful followers." --Rev. Donald Morgan

Atheists aren't perfect....just evolving.

Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.

On the sixth day God created man. On the seventh day, man returned the favor.

"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." --Arthur C. Clarke

If "he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword" holds true, then jesus the carpenter met his end properly. After all, he was nailed to a piece of wood, wasn't he?

A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.

God? I gave up my imaginary friend(s) a long, long time ago.

"The ability of the theist to misunderstand a thing is directly proportional to the obviousness of the thing." --Oscar Wilde

I haven't been to church recently because I've been too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

In case of rapture, can I have your car?

"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another." --Jonathan Swift

God said "let there be light" and they watered down the beer.

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see a bit better.

To YOU I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

"Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that." --Mark Twain

Sometimes we turn to God when our foundations are shaking, only to find out it is God who is shaking them.

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it with religious conviction." --Blaise Pascal

You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.

Hell - It's not the heat - It's the humidity.

You're pro-life? That's fine. Now get one and stay out of mine!

!!JESUS SAVES!! Gretzky steals .. he shoots.. HE SCORES!!!!

I found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.

God was my co-pilot, but we crashed into a mountain and I had to eat him.

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." --Albert Einstein

Give me some of that old-time Religion...HAIL ZEUS!

"If the truth confronts - absurdity is sure to follow." -- B. Swope

What would Jesus do? He'd mind his own business!

If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

And on the 8th day God said, "Ok Murphy, you take over."

"Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?" --Jules Feiffer

Who took the FUN out of Fundamentalism?

The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye: The more light you pour on it, the more it will contract.

Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.

Fundamentalism means never having to say "I'm wrong."

"Fundamentalists are like the fir trees in German forests: they cannot stand alone, and are only stable when crowded together, branches locked with those of their brothers. That is why we must always fear them, because they will always hate us for our individualism." --Brent Yaciw

"I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence." --Doug MacLeod

Do something Revolutionary - practice YOUR faith

"And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords" --Alan Wilson Watts

Christ died for YOU?

No sex education + prayer in schools = pray you're not pregnant

"That's the problem with religion: you beat your way past the clerics, fight your way through the demons, stand before the holy of holies, and when you rip away the veil, there's nothing there but a mirror." --Owen Rowley

What causes heterosexuality?

In the name of the Old Man, The Kid, and the Spook, Amen.




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